Running Until the Feelings Go Away

America makes me so anxious and angry! I call my representatives and tell them exactly what I expect them to do if they want my vote in the future. Then I go downstairs and run at least four miles on the treadmill in my building's weird old exercise room, and I usually end up so sweaty and tired that it takes me at least a couple of hours to get anxious and angry again. I also pay myself $1 for each mile I run and then buy things like Werner Herzog novelty tees.